


You Never Know

by Jasmine_Shigeru



Category: Trigun
Genre: F/M, Post Series
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-07
Updated: 2018-11-16
Packaged: 2019-07-08 01:53:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 17,134
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15920514
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jasmine_Shigeru/pseuds/Jasmine_Shigeru
Summary: Two couples finding each other and finding love.





	1. Weird

Title: You Never Know  
Author: Jasmine Shigeru  
Pairing: Vash/Meryl; Knives/Millie  
Summary: Two couples finding each other and finding love.  
Author’s Note: This is the first story in my Trigun series. There will be 15 in all.  
Disclaimer: I do not own the Trigun nor do I wish I do. This is just for my entertainment and whoever wishes to read it. I am not making any profit from this and do not care to for that matter.  
Rating: T

You Never Know  
By: Jasmine Shigeru

Chapter One: Weird  
Staring up at the blue sky, I sit outside of the SEEDs ship and I wonder why I did what I did. Why I never returned to the Insurance Girls, the short girl, and the big girl. I know their names, Meryl Stryfe and Millie Thompson, but I like to call them short and big. They were my friends. They saved me and I’ve saved them, more times than they saved me. They were there for me when I just wanted to die. They made me want to live and continue my quest for love and peace.

The girls took care of me when I was dying. They took care of me during my short bout of depression. I had killed a man and was pretty injured myself. They took me somewhere safe and brought me back to health and once healed, I knew I had to do what needed to be done to save the human race. I had to face my worst challenge, the one person I should hate the most, my brother.

Knives had betrayed me in the most devious of ways. He had become to hate humans during our short-lived lives. He wanted them all gone and to ensure their termination, he destroyed our home and killed everyone we knew, including the woman who was like a mother to us. In turn, I turned my back to him when he wanted me by his side to rule and destroy the people on this planet. I couldn’t do that. I couldn’t see other living beings as something that needed to be exterminated like a bunch of pests. I was taught to believe that everyone deserved to live, even the wicked, but Knives wouldn’t have it. He was also taught the same teachings by Rem, our ’mother’, but sometime during our life on the SEEDs ship he no longer believed such a thing. He wanted all of humanity to suffer and he wanted me by his side so badly. He had tried every destructive way to get me to see his point of view.

Knives tried to destroy all my ties to humanity and make the world hate me. He had a group of humans that followed him to kill and destroy everything precious to me. He wanted me to fall and realize that I was better than the humans. I had truly gotten to that point, after I killed his head man, Legato. I felt as if there was no point in being if I could take another’s life. During that time, I was certain I would walk down my brother’s path if he offered again. If I weren’t for the Insurance girls, I wanted to be right by my brother’s side.

After I was healed I knew what I had to do. I had to fight Knives and prevent him from ever harming another living soul again. I knew that the result could mean his death or even mine, but that was something I was willing to face now. Knives had made sure of that. So, I journeyed into the forever desert that is the planet Gunsmoke and found my brother. I fought Knives and won. I didn’t kill him, though I was prepared to. I just couldn’t. He was still my brother and I believed everyone deserved to be saved, even him. That’s just my way. Instead, I injured him badly, enough for him to remain unconscious for an undeterminable amount of time and out of the way.

After, I defeated my brother; I took him to one of the fallen SEEDs ships and placed him in a close confined pod. The ship was a wreck, but livable. No one would bother us. This was a place for us to heal, for my soul and for Knives’, his body and hopefully his own soul. I felt that we both needed this, a time away from humanity, but I knew we would also return to the world.

I don’t feel I can spend the rest of my long life here, isolated, with no one but Knives to speak to. I want to be out in the world with the humans. I love their way of life. I love… um… Anyway, I want to return home to the girls, but I need to make sure Knives in contained first. I just can’t leave him alone and able to move freely once he‘s healed, not yet. But as soon as he is contained I will find the insurance girls.

________________________________________  
Pain, it was all I felt when I woke inside the tiny chamber I was sure my brother had placed me in. I hate pain; I don’t have a tolerance for it. Sometimes, I wish there was never such a thing, but then I think about all of the spiders that inhabit this desert planet and am grateful for such a punishment. But for me, the unbearable pain was torturing. I find myself grateful for the confining space. I could not move and this made it difficult for the pain to increase. I curse my brother, my twin, Vash.

He has been a thorn in my side and an abomination to our kind for too long. For decades he has done nothing but tries to save the vermin, the spiders, known as humanity. He wants to be one of them and live amongst them, but he’s not one of them, he never will be. Why would he wish to be one of them? They drain our sisters’ dry of their energy, killing them. How can my imbecile of a sibling continue to fight for their survival?

Vash speaks of love and peace like they are plausible goals. He is such a fool. The spiders will never give him such things; they don’t exist in their world. Oh, they behave as if love and peace exist, but it truly does not. They kill and torture their own for a loaf of bread and murder their own families. Why can’t Vash see this? That is why they will eventually be his downfall. One day, they will discover who and what he is and they will kill him.

I have tried to do the responsible thing. I have tried to protect my brother as well as our sisters. I have tried to save him from his elimination. I have shown him what I see in the spiders. I have shown him the cruelty and destruction the spiders can inflict. I have tried to prove to my brother that the spiders are selfish creatures. But my dear brother still believes they deserve to exist.

All of the spiders should die. They do not deserve the precious gift of life. Only the worthy deserves such a glory, only the plants, only us.

I will reach my goal. I am determined to see to the spiders’ extinction. I will free my sisters. I love my brother dearly, but if Vash continues his crusade to help them and to join them in life if he continues to stand in my way much longer, he will meet the same fate as the filthy spiders.  
________________________________________  
I know Knives is awake. Well, at least his mind is conscious. I can feel him buzzing around my mind. He seems to know where he is. He hasn’t opened his eyes yet. He’s probably in too much pain to do so. I bet his entire body is hurting. I’m sorry I had hurt him so badly, but it had to be done.

~It was either this or death, dear brother, ~ I tell him through our telepathic link.

I receive no reply. I know he heard me; he just hates me too much right now to respond.

I sigh and begin to pack some supplies. I am going to head out soon. I want to see the insurance girls again. I hope they hadn’t decided to move on.

 

I know they're angry with me, especially the short girl. Big girl will probably punch me first. Next, she would yell at me. Then, she’d cry on me for about 5 minutes and after she’s done, offer me something to eat. Not the short girl. She would lecture me for about a day while she made sure I was taken care of. Then, she’d glare at me all at the same time, give me the silent treatment. Lastly, she will be civil with me until she’s comfortable with talking to me again.

I chuckle. Those two can be so predictable sometimes and I wouldn’t have another way. They are my friends, my closest friends that are still alive. Knives had made sure my best friend, the preacher, Nicholas D. Wolfwood was killed.

Poor big girl, I know she was very attached to Wolfwood. I’m not sure how close the two of them were, I only know that they were close. They would probably be in a relationship by now.

I begin to brood. I know the short girl would hit me for it and tell me to cheer up. She really cares for me. I know she was the main one seeing to my welfare while I was bedridden. For a small girl, she has such a big heart.

I sigh. I wish that heart belonged to me. I think it does. It seemed like it did when I left. I hope her tears weren’t tears for the loss of a friend, but for a potential love.

I hear a snort in my head. So, Knives is still buzzing around my mind.

~It’s rude to look into someone else’s mind without their permission, Knives~ I tell him as I pause in my packing.

In the weeks that I’ve known him to be awake, this was the first time my brother has tried to communicate to me.

~You were projecting, you idiot,~ Knives informs me.

~Oops,~ I say. ~I need to remember the closer we are the easier it is for us to read each other.~

~Hn,~ was the only thing I get.

I wait a minute for anything else from Knives. When he says nothing, I return to my packing.

~You’re pathetic, brother,~ I hear.

~Why am I pathetic, brother,~ I ask.

~You’re in love with a human,~ Knives explains. ~You should kill her now, she’s only going to grow old and die long before you.~

~That may be true, Knives,~ I tell him calmly. ~But, it’s worth a shot. Better have her for a short while, than to die not knowing what it was like to be with her.~

Another rude snort entered my head. I smile to myself. I fear Knives will never understand the love between a man and a woman. He wouldn’t trust a human enough to love her.

~Damn straight,~ my brother exclaims in my head, startling me.

~Get out of my head, Knives,~ I shout back at him.

I sling my duffle bag over my shoulder.

~I’m leaving now brother and don’t bother trying to escape,~ I tell him. ~The pod is locked from the outside. You’re stuck until I return.~

~And when in the hell do you think that will be,~ he practically yells in a panic.

~I don’t know, so just sit tight,~ I say and completely block out his reply.

I leave the SEEDs ship. I will return to it in a few months after I find the Insurance girls and give them a report of what I’ve been doing, but I will return. When I do, I will release my brother and bring him with me. He will need me. He won’t be capable of doing anything for himself for at least a year.

Maybe, then I will be able to convince him that some humans deserve to be kept alive.

END OF CH. 1


	2. Strong Enough to Break

Chapter Two: Strong Enough to Break  
It has been three months since I’ve last seen Vash the Stampede. Three months since he had gone off to fight his brother, Knives. Three months and he has never returned. I fear he has gone and gotten himself killed. I hope he did not.

See, I have feelings for the spiked haired Humanoid Typhoon. I would never admit them out loud, but I do. At least, I don’t think I would never admit them. I might, if and only if, he returned. If he returns to us, I may kiss him.

When I say us, I mean Millie Thompson, my partner at the Bernardelli Insurance Agency, and I. We waited for Vash as long as we possibly could. We stayed in the little house we rented to treat his injuries until the offices sent us a letter ordering us to return. We waited for him for two months before we received our orders to return home to the Agency. We were no longer on the case of the $$60 Billion man.

I wanted to continue to wait for Vash. I’m worried about him. I wonder what will run through his mind when he comes here looking for us. He would probably think the worst, but there is nothing I can really do about it I would send him a letter but I do not think he would ever receive it.

But I must follow orders. I must return to the offices and accept my next assignment. I must move on. I am obedient. I was raised to be. I was raised to do whatever my boss asks me to do. Well, as long as it was ethical. I cannot disobey and remain in this little town and wait for the man I lo… and wait for Vash.

God, I hope Vash decides to come back to Millie and me. I hope he tries to find us. I hope he finds us without any trouble. I cannot bear the thought that he may be dead in the desert somewhere. I cannot bear the thought of never seeing him again.  
________________________________________  
I stare at my partner, Meryl Stryfe. She is staring off into space again. She does this a lot now. I know what she’s thinking. She’s thinking of Vash the Stampede. She’s always thinking about Mr. Vash these days. I know she cares for Mr. Vash very much and I know she misses him terribly. I know she worries about him and wishes he would come back. She’d never tell me herself, but I know.

I understand what she’s going through. The pain of knowing the one you love may be getting himself killed, while you wait for him in the safety of your room, not knowing if he’s alive or dead. The only difference between my wait and Meryl’s is my love won’t come home to me. He died the day after our one and only night together.

His name was Nicholas D. Wolfwood. He was an orphan turned gunman; he adored children and had an awful habit of smoking cigarettes. He was a priest, a very odd priest who had many flaws. A tortured soul and a mysterious way about him, but he always came through in the end. That was until the end. He died in a church. It seemed fitting he was a religious man.

I loved him very much and I know that he loved me too. He told me so the night before he died. It was sad we did not come to express our love until his final day on this planet.

I cried a lot after he died and I still do from time to time. I cried because I miss him so much. But now I’m happy too. He left me a little gift the night before he left me, a child, his child.

I know he would be happy to be a father. I bet he would have been a great father. He loved children. He would have made a great husband too. He always treated me well. He wanted to marry me after a man named Millions of Knives was stopped. He was a good man and I have no doubt I would have been his wife.

 

I’m beginning to cry now. I shouldn’t Meryl and I have so much to do before we leave for home. We have to pack and make sure the house we stay in is in tip-top shape. We also have to purchase our tickets for the bus out of town.

We have to be brave, even when it hurts. We have to brave and move on.

END OF CH. 2


	3. Two Tears

Chapter Three: Two Tears  
I stare out the window of the bus as it drove me and my partner home. I absently trace my hand over my still flat stomach. I don’t want to think of Nicholas. I loved, still love him so much and I don’t have the strength to remember him right now.

Closing my eyes I push away my thoughts. The pain stabbed my heart, but I try not to let it bother me.

Opening my eyes I look around the bus. There are only six of us left. I see Meryl, my partner, is sleeping. She looks so at peace. There’s a mother with her small son. I wonder if I will have a son. The last people on the bus are an old couple. They were leaning against each other.

“Now entering December,” the bus driver announced. “Please remain seated until the bus has come to a complete stop.”

I turn to my work partner and shake her awake.

“Meryl,” I say. “You have to wake up now. We’re home.”

Meryl wakes with a start.

“Oh, sorry, Millie,” Meryl says as she wakes. “I didn’t mean to fall asleep.”

“It’s alright, Meryl,” I say. “You needed the res. We’re home now.”

“Oh, okay,” Meryl says as she smoothes down her hair. I stand to leave.  
________________________________________  
A few days later, My Big, Big Brother and my Little Big Brother helped me move into my new apartment. The insisted on helping me as soon as I told them I was pregnant.

There were a few questions. My family wanted to know who was my baby’s father, I proudly told them, Nicholas D. Wolfwood. They asked where he was and I told them that he had died a few months ago. They asked if I loved him and I answered yes, with all of my heart. They asked if he loved me, I said I believed he did. They were satisfied after that.

My mother suggested I get a big apartment with two bedrooms. I thought it was a brilliant idea and as soon as I could, I moved into my own place, close to Bernardelli HQ.

I spent the middle months of my pregnancy shopping for things for my new apartment and unpacking the little of what was left of the property that I had placed into storage before Meryl and I began our assignment.

I sigh. That seemed too long ago. It has been over a year. One Year and we were home. It feels strange to be home after so long of a time. It doesn’t even feel like home, but soon it will.

My child is due in two months and with my baby’s help we will make this place ours.  
________________________________________  
The last few months of my pregnancy was filled with work and discomfort. I spent my time at a desk job. I stamped papers and Meryl filed them. It was a major demotion for us. We lied about our final accounts with Vash the Stampede and our boss thought we no longer deserved our jobs as full-blown agents. He decided it was best we become office girls. Meryl doubts we will ever be promoted.

I don’t mind. I am done with the dangerous work. I have to be there for my baby. I will no longer accept a dangerous assignment.

Two weeks before my due date, I went into labor. My water broke on the way to the hospital and twenty hours later I gave birth to my son, Mathew Nicholas Thompson. I wanted him to have his own name but I also wanted him to be connected to his father in some way. Mathew looks exactly like me with his father’s dark hair.

The first time I held him in my arms, I cried. I was so happy to see him. I held him as long as I could until I fell asleep and I dreamt of my son. I saw my future through him and I saw Nicholas living on. I knew my son was going to be a good man, just like his father.  
END OF CH. 3


	4. I Will Come to You

Chapter Four: I Will Come to You  
(Vash’s POV)  
By the second week of my travels, I was bored. There was nothing thrilling in my life since I had stopped Knives. No one was chasing me and I have yet to reach a town. There was absolutely nothing for me to at the moment. In fact, if I didn’t have an excellent sense of the time passing, I would have thought I was traveling more than a week.

It felt like months and I was lonely on my own. I have felt depressed over my loneliness before, but never like this. Never had I had friends or travel companions like the ones I have a few years ago.

I sigh. I did not need to think about that now, because if I thought about my loneliness, the longer it would feel to take to get to the Girls. At least, that is what I thought the second week. Then a third week passed and then a fourth.

I had been away from Knives for a month and I was actually considering turning back. My loneliness was heavily over my shoulders and my walking had begun to become noticeably slower. I was torturing myself, trying to find friends that had either moved on or had died.

So, you could imagine my relief and disappointment when I came to town lost in the vast desert. I was relieved at the prospect of having an actual bed to sleep in and shelter from the night’s cold and day’s heat. But my disappointment stemmed from the fact that I had been in this town before. I knew it to be deserted. This was the town where Nicholas D. Wolf wood lost his life. This was the town I buried my best friend.

I felt extra weight fall onto my limbs as they seemed to drag, reluctant to travel to a town with such a horrible memory. I see the monument where Knives’ name was written in blood and where I had dotted the eye with a bullet. I turn to see the steeple of the church where I had found Wolfwood’s body resting against his Cross Punisher, a single cigarette burning where he had kneeled, blood under him like a crimson shadow.

I had to carry my best friend to a bed in the town, the same bed he and Millie had shared the night before. I left him there and walked off, not even looking at the poor girl who cried her soul out at the loss of her love. I walked away to think, to be away, and to think about what I had to do to Knives to make him stop taking lives.

I did not return for many hours. When I entered the room where I had placed Wolfwood’s body, I found him cleaned and fresh clothes from his bag on his still form. I stared at him in shock and was wondering who had cleaned him up when the short girl came in. She was carrying a tarp she had found in town to roll his body in so we could bury him.

She told me to say my goodbyes now because she and Millie had to agree to place him in the ground soon. She told me that the big girl was digging Wolfwood’s grave now and that they both had already said their goodbyes. I stared at her in awe. Never had I seen a person so strong and it was then I realized I loved her.

She left me in less than a minute, leaving the tarp on a nearby table and she asked me to come and get her as soon as I finished. I nodded my answer even though she did not see. She closed the door behind her.

My attention went to my dead best friend. I did not know what to say. In my long lifetime I had laid many friends to rest, but never could I not think of anything to say. So, I just stood there for several minutes, before deciding to finish preparing Wolfwood for burial.

I walked to the table and placed the tarp on the floor and spread it open. After I was satisfied with the layout, I went to the bed and stared down at my friend for a moment, tears stinging my eyes but none fell. I slowly slid my arms under him and lifted the limp body not minding the dead weight. In fact, I did not notice the weight at all. To me, he felt as light as a feather as I carried him to the tarp and placed him on top of the surface. I wrapped him carefully as careful as a mother would wrap her newborn baby in a warm blanket.

When I was done, I called Meryl back in and at first, she was shocked to see what I had done but got over it quickly. I asked her if Millie was done digging and she nodded, saying yes. I nodded as well and told her to tell Millie to prepare for the burial and asked Meryl to leave the door open. Again she nodded before leaving.

Once again I was alone with my best friend and again I could not think of anything to say. So, I lifted his body silently. This time I felt the dead weight as I carried him from the room and out the building to the grave. To my surprise, Millie had even made a headstone and when I stared at her in shock, her body was shaking with grief and noticed her hands were bleeding from her hard work. She must not have allowed Meryl to patch her up. I guessed she wanted to feel something other than sorrow.

Without looking at the wrapped body in my arms, I carefully lowered it into the grave. Millie sniffled and Meryl held her arm for comfort. We did not say a word as Millie stepped up to the grave. She retrieved a knife from her back pocket and brought it up to her hair. She cut off about an inch and dropped the light brown strands into the hole.

This was a normal ritual for Gunsmoke. Flowers were rare so people gave a piece of themselves when a loved one died. In a way, this was sadder than the old Earth tradition of placing flowers in a loved one’s grave. This fairly new tradition was like burying yourself. It was like you died with the person you loved.

It was after Millie made offering that Meryl said the whole “ashes to ashes” thing and again I was surprised by the short girl. She knew the whole thing. Not many average people knew it. The short girl never stopped amazing me.

When she was done, Meryl asked me to bury Wolfwood’s body with the sand and dirt. Millie said she would do it, but Meryl insisted that I should. She wanted Millie to get some sleep.

I nodded in agreement and picked up the shovel. I quickly but gravely scooped up the dirt and tossed it into the grave. I heard Millie give a choked sob as she watched me bury her lover. Meryl pulled her away whispering soothing words to the big girl and I continued with my work.

I remembered that I did not cry then and I did not cry when I was finished. I just stood over Wolfwood’s grave. I stood there for hours before a turned and walked into the building the girls were occupying. It was then that I told Meryl everything about me. It was there I told her goodbye for the first time.

Now, I find myself back here and once again I was standing in front of Wolfwood’s grave. This time I found the words and the tears as I read…

“Here lies Nicholas D. Wolfwood, a great man with a big heart.”

I smiled sadly at the stone. Millie always had a simple way of saying things.

“You shouldn’t have died,” I told him. “You should’ve asked for help. I’m sure the girls would have been able to patch you up. Your wounds weren’t that bad.”

I choked on my tears knowing what I had just said was true. His injury was bad, but he would not have died from them if he was able to get them treated.

“If only you didn’t walk to that church and forced yourself to bleed out,” I shouted at the grave. “I know you didn’t want to die. You had so much to live for, but you just had to go and be dramatic.”

Looked up at the sky and closed my eyes, tears falling violently down my cheeks.

“I know you didn’t give up, I just know you didn’t”

Even though I said it, I did not believe myself. But I had a feeling that it was true. I had a feeling that Wolfwood really did not want to die. I believe that he believed that his injuries were worse than they were. I believe that he believed that he was going to die no matter what.

“Dammit,” I said. “I wish I could have saved you.”

I look back down at the grave.

“How could you have left us alone?”

With that whispered question I turned to find shelter and a place to sleep.

The next morning I walked back to the grave and buried one of the guns from his punisher, an earring I had stolen from Meryl, and a piece of my red duster.

“There,” I said. “Now you have a piece of all of us.”

A tear fell to the dry ground as a stood and smiled sadly at the headstone.

“Goodbye dear friend,” I said solemnly. “May your next life bring you the joy you deserved in this one.”

With those words, I gathered my things and walked from that abandoned town to the town where I last saw the girls. I was hoping with all hope that they somehow were still there. And if they were not, I was hoping someone would be able to tell me where they went.  
________________________________________  
When I got to the town where I last saw the girls, I quickly found out that they had gone. I asked around and found someone, one of Millie’s co-workers for the well. He told me that the girls had gotten a letter from Bernardelli. The letter had instructed that they returned to headquarters. It said that since Vash the Stampede had dropped off the radar, they had no need to be out on the field.

I sighed at the news. Well, at least I knew where they were alive when they left this small little town.

I traveled for 2 months and though I had reached civilization, I was still lonely. I missed Meryl and Millie’s company and I was anxious to see them again. So, I tried to travel as fast as I could. I took buses, trains hitchhiked and rode on a couple of Steam Engines to get to the girls as soon as possible. I just had to make sure that they were okay.

Occasionally, I would stop in a town to ask if they had seen the insurance girls and sometimes I would find out that they had been there and that they were safe and healthy when they had left. This little information gave me great relief.

I was ecstatic when I finally arrived in December and began my search for the girls. Well, not both, mostly Meryl. I knew if I found her I would find Millie, so I was too worried about Big Girl. Anyway, to my great amazement, many people knew Meryl Stryfe and were willing to help me find my Short Girl, especially when I explained that we were old friends and that she was dear to me.

It took me nearly two days to find someone who knew what apartment building she lived in and it took me half a day to get there. I was not going to see Meryl while dirty. So, I found a public bath and cleaned up and changed into some black slacks, a pale yellow shirt, and some brown shoes. I wanted to look my best. Instead of doing my hair up in my trademark style, I allowed it to flop. It was a style I had adopted since I left Knives. I knew some people would have been able to recognize me if I put it up. With a bounty still on my head, I did not want to cause any trouble that would have slowed my travels down and get people hurt.

Once satisfied with my look, I went to Meryl’s building and met her landlord. I asked him what floor Meryl lived on and he not only told me the floor, he also told me the number. He was happy to see that a gentleman caller was visiting her. He thought that a young woman like Meryl deserved to love someone in her life and have someone love her in return. I blushed and laughed uncomfortably as I gave him my thanks before walking up to the fourth floor and up to door 5D.

I knocked on the door and to my dismay, no one answered. I assumed that Meryl was at work. I remembered that she liked to work and took pride in her job and did it well. Not many people could track me the way she and Millie had.

It was late in the afternoon, nearly evening and I figured she would be home soon. I decided to wait for her. I leaned against the wall next to her door. As I waited, I began to think. I wondered if Meryl would be happy to see me. Would she hug me or hit me? Would she was to remain my friend? Would she want to be more than friends? Could she love me?

I was brought from my thoughts by light footsteps coming from the stairs. I stared in that direction to see Meryl appear. She hung her head low as she approached. When she noticed my presence, she looked up slowly from my shoes to my head.

“Vash!” she exclaimed as saw my face.

It was not long before we were embracing and for once in a long time, I felt at home.

END OF CH. 4


	5. Thinking of You

Chapter Five: Thinking of You  
I still wait for him, the man in the red coat. It has been over a year since he left to face his curse. I cannot lie, I still love him. They call him Vash the Stampede. A name feared by many, for no reason, if... If they have met him.

Yes, he was everything the rumors had proclaimed. He was an excellent shot, tall, blonde, a red coat, the man who destroyed two cities, July and Augusta, the man who blew a hole into the Fifth Moon. He was a womanizer: but he was also compassionate and kind. He didn't want anyone to get hurt or to die. He only used his gun when he needed to and even then he did not shoot to kill. He loved life more than anyone I knew.

Even though Vash wasn't human, he has shown more humanity than anyone on this desert planet. He has lived for over a century and has seen so much pain and yet he still found good in almost everyone he met.

I still wait for him. I love him. I'm not sure if he loves me in return, but I know I will always wait for his return. The tall, spiky-haired blonde with aquamarine eyes and a red coat, the man with scars on his entire Vash the Stampede.

"Meryl?" someone asked.

I looked up to see Millie. Millie Thompson was a tall woman with wide, bright, pale blue eyes and long light brown hair. She always acted a little dense, but she has always been the wise one at tough times. I would say she is my best friend. She was my partner on the Vash the Stampede case. That's how we got to know each other.

I noticed her rounded belly and smiled. It had been three months since her son, Mathew Nicholas Thompson, was born and she had not lost all the weight from her pregnancy. The child she believed to be a gift from God. Her lover, Nicholas D. Wolfwood, had died the day after little Mathew's conception. To her Mathew was the last bit Mr. Wolfwood left her. I guess I believe it too. Mr. Wolfwood was a good man.

Millie once told me that he made a promise to her. He said after things had settled down, he was going to marry her and take her to live at his orphanage. All I could say was I believed he would have.

"You're thinking about Mister Vash again, aren't you?"

I remained silent and looked down at my paperwork. We had to return to the main office of the Bernardelli Insurance Agency three month's after he left.

"Ah, Meryl, he will return," she said cheerfully.

I choked on my tears and shook my head, my short black hair moving ever so slightly.

"I'm not so sure of that anymore, Millie," I replied. "It's just been so long."

"Oh, Meryl." She whispered, her usually cheerful eyes saddened by my lack of hope.

________________________________________  
I entered my apartment building a few hours later. My arms filled with the paper I must work on. Walking up the stairs, my head held low, I still thought of him. His slender yet well-muscled frame lingered in my mind.

I stared into space as my gaze remained downward and I approached the fourth floor of the building. I walked down the hall to see a pair of man's brown shoes. Slowly I looked up. I saw slender long legs dressed in black slacks. Moving upward, a pale yellow shirt came into view. When I reached his face, my heart stopped. His hair wasn't spiked, but I knew...

It was him. I would recognize his face anywhere.

"Vash!" I cried out with tears in my eyes. dropping my paperwork I embraced him.

"I'm happy to see you too, Meryl." He smiled and returned the hug.

I made a small noise of happiness and he squeezed my small body.

Inside my apartment, I prepared a meal for the two of us. Vash sat on the couch. We were silent. We both knew that this was going to be a night that would change our lives for the better or for the worse, for some strange reason.

"So, how's Millie?" he asked to break the silence.

"Oh, she's great," I answered and wiped my hands on my apron. "She's a mother now."

"Oh?"

"Her son's name is Mathew Nicholas Thompson. He's really cute."

"So, she and Wolfwood...?"

"Yeah. He has a lot of Millie's features, but he definitely has Mr. Wolfwood's eyes." I explained.

Vash made no comment. I could tell he was in deep thought. He blamed himself for Wolfwood's death.

"Ok, supper's ready," I announced.

Vash jumped up and clapped his hands once. He got a goofy smile on his face.

"Oh boy, food!"

We sat at the table and grabbed the utensils. I smiled to myself and shook my head.

"You will never change."

He smiled, bright and wide.

We ate silently, actually, I mostly watched him eat. It was refreshing to see his face. I was content just watching him. He always had this childish expression on his face when he ate, especially when he got his hands on fresh donuts.

Why is he here, I thought seriously. Why would he come straight here? Why didn't he just come visit me and Millie at the Insurance Agency?

"You're not hungry, are you?" I heard Vash say.

I immediately snapped out of my daze. Slapping my cheeks a smiled and woke myself up.

"No, no. I am."

I began to eat. He looked at me with a silly confused expression.

________________________________________  
Later that night, I stood in front of the sink to wash the dishes. I paused and my mind began to wander again.

Why did he just come to me? Did he think Millie and I lived together? Well, whatever he thought, he should have had come to the agency or sent some word. He was always so unpredictable.

I felt a flame of anger burn inside me. He has always been so irritating. Argh... That man! How could I have fallen for him?

"Um... Meryl?" Vash's voice interrupted my train of thought.

"Yeah, what is it you want?" I snapped.

He withdrew a little, instantly becoming nervous.

"I was wondering... If I could stay here for the night?"

"Why?"

"No, money." He smiled weakly.

I stared at him, then nodded.

"Sure why not." I went back to my dishes. "Just let me finish up with this and then, I will go get you some blankets and a pillow for the couch."

I knew he was staring at me. I could see him in the corner of my eye. He wanted more from me.

"Meryl?"

"Yes, Vash?"

"Nothing."

Vash sat on the couch again.

Minutes later, I finished the dishes in silence and turned to him. He was completely in his own world. I watched him just stare into space. He looked so serious. What was he thinking? Was he thinking of Knives? Speaking of Vash's brother, where was he? I wondered.

"Now Mr. Stampede," I shouted out at him deciding to cheer him up. "If you want to stay here you had better start acting a little more cheerful."

He looked up at me and smiled.

"And if you even try anything with me I will..."

In seconds his face was so close to mine I could feel his breath on my face. I blinked to make sure that wasn't seeing things.

"Are you sure you don't want me to try anything?" He said in a sincere way.

His eyes were very serious and their color was magnificent. His hands gripped my shoulders, gently and he was pulling me towards him.

"Wait, how did this come to be?"

I couldn't say a word. A warm feeling came over my body as our lips drew closer and closer. When they touched, I felt shocked up my spine.

We pulled apart, his eyes were laughing and I was smiling.

"Vash," I sighed.

I wasn't sure if he was really there, but if this was a dream, I hoped it would never end.  
I took one deep breath and stood on my tip toes to kiss him. I felt him smile and tighten his arms around me.

"Mm... Meryl," He whispered. "I'm glad I came back."

"You're not the only one. I haven't stopped thinking about you since you left." I said before I could silence myself.

"Really?"

Vash's smile immediately brightened. I blushed and turned my face away from his. He clutched my chin gently between his thumb and forefinger. Turning my head so that I was looking directly into his aqua gaze. He kissed my nose and then my lips. I moaned despite the fact that it was a soft and quick peck.

"Meryl?" He whispered. "Why wait so long?"

My eyes instantly began to tear. I bit my lower lip. Here was my chance to tell him how I have felt about him for so long. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. I opened them slowly to stare into his emotional gaze.

"Vash," I began. " I waited because I love you."

He made a choking noise and then he embraced me. His head fell to my shoulder. He was crying.

"Vash?"

His response was small kisses on my neck and he was working his way up to my chin and then my face. The feather-light touch kissed my tears and then finally my mouth.  
"Meryl, I came back to tell you that I've fallen in love with you."

Well, that explains not going to the agency to see Millie too.

I pulled him down so that I could kiss him like there was no tomorrow. He laughed and pulled away.

"Wow, so now what do we do?" He asked with the hint of hope for something more than kisses.

Normally I wouldn't have considered the challenge, but to be honest what if he had to leave, I wanted him to know how much I loved him and how far I was prepared to go to prove it.

My fingers were unbuttoning his shirt. My hands were on his skin before he could protest. I gently ran my fingers on one of his many scars and he moaned with pleasure. I smile wickedly and looked up into his eyes. We kissed passionately while he ran his fingers down my sides.

"Meryl? Are you a virgin?" he asked.

Under normal circumstances, I would have been angry at the comment, but this was the man I loved and he was only curious, I suppose. Anyway, by the way, things were going between us and so quickly, he was bound to find out.

"No, you?" I asked. I wanted to know. I was nibbling on his neck and running my nails on the nape of his neck. He froze up and I could tell that had found a very sensitive spot.

The only response he gave me was a shake of the head no. I smile and he returns the expression.

Grabbing my rear and kissing me forcefully. Vash lifted me up and set me down on the kitchen counter. He shrugged off his shirt and began to unbutton mine. He kissed my skin lightly when he uncovered it. I instantly flushed and dug my nails into the nape of his neck again. The action drawing a groan from his lips.

"God, Meryl!" he growled into my chest. His breath coming short and hot over my bra covered breast. He bit the swell of my breasts, making me gasp.

I felt his tongue lap at the spot, which only made me clutch at his spot more. He smiled into my breasts removing my white shirt and tossing it behind him. The cold air sent goosebumps up my arms and Vash touched them lightly with his fingertips. I moaned and ran my hands down his chest to the waistband of his pants.

He tensed in anticipation as I allowed my nails to play with the skin of his hard lower abs. He groaned at my teasing caress and reached behind my back to fiddle with the clasps to my bra.

It was my turn to freeze as I felt his long fingers move under the strip of cloth. I growled, frustration setting into my bones. I wanted nothing more at that moment than to feel Vash's bare chest on my bare breast and he knew it.

He hesitated, his fingers still rubbing my back as I felt him nibble on my nipple through the thin material.

"Vash." I groaned and he stared up at me with his mouth still tugging at my nipple.

"Yes, love?" He mumbled, eliciting a moan from me, before moving to my other breast. His eyes were wide with innocence.

"You know, that would be better if you would remove my bra," I said with a gasp at the end as he suckled me.

"You know it's only fair," he said removing his mouth from me. "You're teasing me."

I just smiled and tried to fight the urge to hit him. I slowly unzipped them. Pausing I realize he was not wearing any underwear and I gasped as I take a hold of his length.

He was a lot bigger than I thought he would be. I mean I have only done this twice, and with the same man. He wasn’t even close to Vash, even when he was erect and Vash was only halfway there.

I wasn’t the one who washed him during the ten days he was unconscious after the Legato incident. Millie did that. I was too embarrassed to do it.

I felt my face flush as he grew harder and larger. I stared into his face in awe. He was blushing. It was the cutest thing I had ever seen.

“I’m sorry.” He whispered and started to pull away, but I tightened my grip so he wouldn’t move of fear of the pain it would bring.

I remove his length from his pants and began to run my fingertips up and down it. “There is nothing to be sorry about. I was just surprised. That’s all. You‘re so big.” I said flattering him. “Besides, the harder and the bigger it is, the better.”

He blushed a nice shade of red.

I smile and take his huge member into both my small hands and began to pump him.

Vash’s response was a satisfied moan and he remembered to take off my bra as a hunger appeared into his eyes. Quickly discarding the offensive piece of clothing, Vash immediately attacked my breast with vengeance.

One of his hands massaged my left breast as the other rubbed up to my inner thigh. While his mouth licked and nipped at my ultra sensitive hard nipple, Vash began to remove my tights. I paused and lifted his head for a gentle kiss.

I felt teeth at my neck and gasp.

"Vash, let's move to my bedroom."

Vash nodded vigorously and lifted me from the counter. I wrapped my legs around his waist and we both moaned at the intimate contact. His erection pressing against my sex was wonderful and I could tell he enjoyed it as well.

I felt his teeth in my neck and I gasped.

"Yeah, I agree." He said breathlessly. "A nice soft bed does sound nice."

He licked his teeth marks and kissed it gently.

"So, where is the bedroom?"

"Down the hall, to the right," I replied.

Moments later, Vash gently lowered me to the bed and stood to gaze down at me. He smiles and he placed his right hand onto my throat and slowly slid it down to the valley of my breasts and down my flat stomach. I noticed he wanted to move slower now. He then laid next to me and moved so that he hovered over my body. He unzipped my skirt and gently placed his hands on my hips.

With little effort, his large hands slip my skirt down my legs and I shifted myself so he could remove it completely. His lips then placed a gentle kiss on my belly and he hooked his slender fingers into the hem of my dark tights. I held my breath as his mouth kissed each of my breasts and then moved lower and lower. All the while toying with my tights. I wanted him to remove the garment, but he continued to lower his lips down my body.

He kissed my stomach again and then Vash began to remove my tights along with my panties. As he did this he continued to kiss downward. I felt his hot breath on my now exposed sex and then his lips. A moan escapes my lips.

Vash looked into my eyes and smile devilishly. His hair falling into his face. Oh, how I wanted this man.

I felt myself become wetter as he removed my tights. Then returning to my center he slid a finger over my slit. He gave a small laugh at my moan.

Then he rammed his finger into me. I gasped and arched off of the bed.

Vash smiled once more and looked at me as he watched my reaction to his now gentle touch.

“I’m curious,” he wondered aloud, his tone evil. “Do you taste as good down here as your mouth?”

Vash removed his finger from me and ran his tongue along my slit. I moaned louder.

He moaned and smiled satisfied with my response.

“You know what?” He asked with a moan. “I believe I like the taste of you down here better.”

With that said his tongue plunged into my entrance and he began to lick me from the inside.

I tensed and gasped, my hips moving towards him.

Vash licked at me slowly, his tongue moving in circles within me before moving to my clit. His fingers joining in his ministrations as he pushed them into me.

Vash’s left hand reached up to grab and massage my right breast, pinching my nipple lightly.

I gasp and moan as I writhed under him. My hips bucking continuously. My stomach felt tense and tiny little flutters rushed through it. The way he was going, I was going to come at any moment.

No sooner than I thought it did I come into Vash’s awaiting mouth. My body froze, my back arched, my voice crying out his name.

By the time I came down from my high, Vash was gazing down at me. He looked very pleased with his self.

“Delicious,” he whispered and slipped a finger into my dripping sex.

He moved it in and out a couple of times before adding a second.

I moaned and closed my eyes. His fingers were wonderfully talented.

“Vash?” I gasped.

“Yes?” He said pulling out his finger and sucking it into his mouth.

“It’s your turn.”

Vash a brow before he laid next to me.

I growled and pushed him onto his back and kissed him fiercely.

Surprised by my aggressiveness, Vash didn’t have the right of mind to protest when my fingers popped the button of his slacks and were now sliding them down.

Vash smiled at me. “Patience is a virtue.”

I growled at my lover biting him hard on his neck for daring to make such a comment when I was in control.

I smiled into his skin as he yelped at the sudden pain and then gasped when I began to lick the mark I made. My fingers began to explore every scar, every piece of metal, every bolt on his body that I could reach.

I know most women would find it hideous to set an eye on a naked Vash the Stampede, but to me, he is a god and I wanted him to know that in front of me he has nothing to hide.

“I love your body, Vash,” I said not hiding my awe of him.

“But, Meryl-”

I silence him before he could say something stupid.

As we kiss, I lower my hands down to his slim hips and press them to the mattress as best as I could. Lowering my body down his, I kissed and licked my way down to his erection and with some second thought I took him into my mouth and he moaned loudly.

Smiling I moved up his length to the very tip of him and begin the flicked my tongue over his swollen head and his hips bucked upward as a strangled cry escaped his lips.

“Mer…” Vash made an attempt at my name before I am bobbed my head up and down in his lap.

Another groan came forth as I wrap my fingers around the part of him I could not reach. With my hand and mouth at work, I knew Vash would climax soon.

I moved up until only the tip of him was in my mouth. I suckle as my hands pump him in greedy anticipation.

In a few more pumps, Vash’s seed fills my mouth and I swallow as much as I could before lapping up whatever I missed.

I glide my body back up his to kiss him passionately. It doesn’t take long before we both are ready to move to that final step. Vash’s fingers were back at my opening and my small hand was pumping him again.

“Meryl, you ready to finish this?” Vash said and I nod in response.

He flipped us so he was now on top. His hands moved to part thighs and rest his hips between them.

I moaned and bucked up to feel his erection firmly placed on my clit. We moved together creating a delicious friction before Vash stilled his hips and my mine by placing his hand on the stomach.

He looked into my eyes as positioned himself and gently pushed the tip of his penis into my opening.

I moan and squirmed a bit, suddenly nervous. It had been awhile.

I closed my eyes and bit my lip as he pushed. My heart was going a mile a minute. I seemed like an eternity before I heard soothing words from him.

“Meryl, Meryl,” He said softly. His chest was touching mine, his hand stroking my check. “Meryl, open your eyes.”

I did so and looked into his deep sea green eyes. It took me a minute to realize he was all the way in.

We smiled at each as he began a slow pace.

After a minute of the slow thrust, Vash sped up and moaned as my hips automatically began to keep up.

Faster, harder, deeper, and faster we went until the pace was primal. Moans, gasps, and groans filled my room as we felt the end coming.

I was the first to go over the edge. I wrapped my limbs around his body, holding him tightly as exploded into a mind-blowing orgasm. White lights swirled in my eyes and felt tears strike to my hairline.

Vash continued to thrust into my depths. He pounded into me and a felt another climax approach.

As I came for the third time that night, Vash joined me, making the experience unbelievable.

I think I passed out after that because I woke up to see Vash lying next to me.

I smiled at him and rest my head on his chest as I fall back to sleep.

________________________________________  
My head rested on Vash's chest. My hand traced an old, faded scar. It was soft and smooth and it made Vash coo in his sleep.

I smiled at him and looked up at him. His arms tightening around my waist.  
I kiss his chest. A small gentle peck.

I really wanted to show my appreciation to this wonderful man for the rest of my life.  
Tomorrow we will have to have a serious talk. About us, about Knives. I wonder if it's possible for us to have a future, to have a family.

No, I don't want to think about that now. I want to remain in the here and now. With this man. The most feared man on this planet.

He's not even human and yet he's the most humane person I know. So kind and caring and dangerous and deadly, all at the same time.

He no longer wears his red coat and his hair is limp and not spiky, but he's still the same being. He's a plant, a gunman, a lover, a brother, a friend, a man, and an angel. He is Vash the Stampede and I will always think of him as a hero and more.  
END OF CH. 5


	6. Broken Angel

Chapter Six: Broken Angel  
It was morning, the bright light from outside of my window waking me from my deep slumber. I did not want to wake up. I felt it was too soon to wake. I was so happy, comfortable, warm, and most importantly, I felt safer than I ever felt before. I could not remember the last time I felt in peace. I knew it had to do with the man sleeping soundly beside me. I had made love with Vash the Stampede

I had always dreamt of waking in Vash’s arms. It was a dream I never thought would actually come true, but here I was in my bed with the infamous Humanoid Typhoon. My happiness knew no end at that very moment. This had to be the best moment of my life.

My eyes still shut tight, I cuddled closer to my new lover. He shifted to hold me close to his body. I could feel the cold metal of the bolts and grates that decorated his broken body. I gently touched one and he flinched as if the wound still caused him pain. Something was upsetting him.

I opened my eyes to look up at him and saw he was awake. His eyes were weighed down with sadness.

“What’s wrong, Vash?” I asked gently.

He stared down at me and smiled. It was the kind of smile that did not quite reach his beautiful sea green eyes.

“Nothing,” he said simply and kissed me softly on my lips.

I glared up at him.

“Something is wrong,” I insisted. “We just had an unforgettable night and you looked like someone had just shot your dog.”

Vash shifted to sit up, taking me with him. He did not seem like he wanted to let me go just yet.

“How can you love me?” he asked solemnly.

I sigh and shake my head in disbelief. After last night, this broom-head doubted my feelings for him.

I smile up at him.

“How can you say something like that you idiot,” I said lovingly. “I love you, Vash. I have for a long time. I don’t know exactly when it had happened. It just did. I don’t want it to go away.”

Vash nodded.

“But why?” he asked.

“Does it matter?” I asked in return. “Vash, don’t look a gift Tomas in the mouth.”

“But I’m not that good of a person,” he said. “I…”

His eyes saddened. He was burdened with something and I could tell he didn’t want to tell me.

I let out a heavy sigh and looked him straight in the eye.

“Nobody’s perfect,” I said. “I have plenty flaws myself. But I love you enough to see past all of your imperfections. That is if you will let me.”

Vash gazed at me deeply and my eyes began tearing up.

“I want to let you in, Meryl,” he said. “But I need time. I’m so used to pushing people away.”

“I know,” I said. “And so am I, but hopefully, we can get past that flaw together.”

He smiled at the saying and held me tight, kissing my head.

“I love you so much, Meryl,” he said happily.

“And I love too, Vash,” I said with a smile.

I stretched to kiss his lips passionately. He happily returned the kiss.

Yup, happiness was great and life was good.  
________________________________________  
For the rest of the morning, Vash and I spent our time in bed. We did not make love, I was still too sore from the previous night. We just heal each other. It was calming to remain stationary for once. No worries over work, bills, or chasing after clown potential threats to mankind. It was just me and Vash and it was perfect.

We got up around noon. We were hungry and we both needed a shower. Vash was the first in the bathroom. He thought I should have gone first, but I insisted he shower first. I wanted to make our breakfast.

About 20 minutes later, Vash was out of the bathroom and in my kitchen eating. I ate quickly and then went into the bathroom for my shower.

After we were both ready for the day, we went shopping. I did not have to work that day so I was completely free. Vash needed clothes and I needed some things for my apartment. It was an enjoyable experience. Vash tried on plenty of silly outfits to keep me entertained. He flirted with the sales girl to get deals and to see me turned with jealousy. He would laugh and then look bashful when I hit him.

When we got home, Vash quickly settled in my bedroom, while I put my purchases away.

Vash hummed to himself as he laid his things on my bed for me to put away. We decided earlier that he would stay with me. I needed the company. During my travels, while following him, I got used to having another person around. The passing year had been torture for me. I was painfully alone.

Now, Vash made it perfectly clear he did not want to leave me alone. He wanted to be by my side for as long as I would allow. I smile at the thought. Time with Vash, the man I love. It would be wonderful despite the inevitable hardships.

The next day was one of the two days of the week I spent with Millie and her son. As far as I knew, Millie did not know Vash had returned. It would make her day to see Vash and Vash was excited to meet her and Wolfwood’s son.

Mathew Nicholas Thompson was an absolutely adorable little boy. He did not always like the people Millie introduced him to. He usually fussed and screamed until she or if I took him from the stranger’s arms. So, imagine our surprise when he relaxed as soon as he was placed in the Humanoid Typhoon’s arms.

“Millie he’s cute,” Vash said. “He looks just like you.”

He began to play with Mathew like it was the most natural thing to do.

“Why thank you, Mr. Vash,” Millie said cheerfully. “But he does have his father’s hair.”

She smiled brightly at them.

“Oh, Meryl,” she sighed. “He’s going to make a great father someday, but I guess we already knew that from all of the times he played with children during our travels. But this IS the first time we’ve seen him with a baby.”

I glanced up at my friend and then stared at Vash and Mathew. Vash was good with the baby. He held the boy with such confidence and entertained him easily. I smiled sweetly. Millie was right; Vash would be an excellent father.

“Yeah,” I said.

Millie glanced down at me and I knew what was on her mind and was beginning to become uncomfortable with what I saw in her eyes. I knew what she was implying, me plus Vash and children of our own and the possibility of Vash and me having children scared me. 

“Do you think you and Mr. Vash are going to have children of your own?”

“Not for a while, Millie,” I answered. Besides, I did not even know that we could even have a child together. Plus, it was way too early to think that far into the future.

Vash stopped playing with Mathew for a moment and I could tell he had been listening in on my and Millie’s conversation.

“Do you mean that Short girl?” he asked. “Do you want a kid with me?”

I laughed nervously.

“Of course,” I said shyly.

Vash smiled brightly at me and returned his attention to Little Mathew.  
________________________________________  
The rest of the week was cozy. Vash and I spent most of our time together. We talked most of the time while we cuddled, in bed or on the couch. We talked about my childhood and his. We talked about what we wanted out of life. Heck, we talked about everything we could. It seemed as if no subject was off limits. Well, almost. There was one subject I was afraid to bring up, but I finally did. I could not help it. I was very curious about it.

At the end of our wonderful week together, I brought up the subject of Vash’s brother, Knives. The last time Vash talked about his brother was the night before he left to fight him.

I soon realized bringing up his brother was a big mistake, because that is when Vash began to pull away. He began to isolate himself from me. He went on long walks during the day when I was home. While I worked, he would just sit on my sofa. He would be there when I left and still be there when I returned.

I tried talking to him, but he would rarely answer me. I could feel the happiness we had shared at the beginning of the week slowly slipping away and I did not know what to do.

It saddened me. As soon as Vash and I began a relationship, it seemed like it was ending. I wanted the Vash I had known all these years back again. I wanted to see him smile and laugh again. The Vash living with me now was only a shell of the man he was. 

It took me two more days to confront him.

“Vash,” I said as I quietly approached him.

He did not respond at first. He just sat on the couch and stare at the wall.

“Vash,” I said, trying again.

This time he turned to me. At first, he had the saddest expression I had ever seen on his handsome face. Then, he did the saddest thing he could have possibly done at that moment. He smiled up at me, but it never reached his aqua green eyes.

“Oh, hi Meryl,” he said trying to sound cheerful.

“Vash, what’s wrong?” I asked.

“Nothing,” he answered.

“Don’t lie to me. I can tell something’s wrong. You’re pulling away from me.”  
Tears started to build up in my eyes and Vash’s smile disappeared. He stood up and embraced me, holding me close to his chest.

“I can’t tell you yet,” he said in a somber voice. “I can’t tell you what’s bothering me.”

“Does it have to do with Knives?” I asked.

There was a slight paused before Vash answered me. I knew he was debating whether to give me a real answer instead of his usual cryptic answer he uses to give when Millie and I first started traveling with him.

“Yes,” he answered simply.

“Oh,” I said quietly.

Knowing that I was all I was going to get from Vash, I began to cry. I could not help it. I loved him so much and he could not share all of his life with me. It was breaking my heart.

I felt Vash kiss my forehead before he tightened his arms around me, holding me close to his body. His whispered word of ‘I’m sorry’ only made me cry more.  
END OF CH. 6


	7. Save Me

Chapter Seven: Save Me  
Guilt, I was feeling guilty tonight. Next, to me, Meryl slept sound, but I could not sleep.

For the last week, I have been unbelievably happy. I had a home for the first time since before the Great Fall. I had a wonderful, kind woman by my side, and friends who cared about me. But still, I feel guilty. I’m happy and my brother, my only brother, Knives was trapped in an old broken down spaceship. I fell like he should be with me. Better yet, I should be there with him.

In her sleep, Meryl places her arm over my torso and my stomach tightens. She makes me feel special and worth. But I am not. I made a promise a long time ago. I promised Rem, my surrogate mother, that I would take care of Knives. Instead, I abandon him to have a life of my own, a life I was denied for so many years.

Now, I feel I do not deserve this life.  
________________________________________  
Early morning, I kiss Meryl goodbye as she leaves for work. As soon as she’s gone, I begin cleaning her apartment. I do the morning dishes, make the bed, clean the sand-covered floors. I clean the bathroom and gather the laundry. And when I am finished, I realize I have nothing else to do. I have nothing, no job, no home of my own. I am alone.

I sit on Meryl’s couch and close my eyes. I am exhausted. Not form the chores and not because I did not get any sleep last night. I am exhausted because of my entire life. All of my time on Gunsmoke I was saving people and trying to stop Knives.

Now Knives has been dealt with. What do I have to fight for? I have no antagonist. I’m a hero without a villain.

I laugh at how much I’m going to miss being the mouse while my brighter played the cat.

My brother. Everything leads back to my brother. My laughter turns to tears as I begin to cry. I place my hands over my face to hide my sorrow to the empty room.

Empty. I feel empty. I have to go. I have to go back to Knives.  
________________________________________  
It’s the afternoon now and I am waiting for Meryl to come home. I have already gathered my things. My mind was made up. I was going back to Knives. It was my brotherly duty to take care of my twin.

“Hi, Vash,” Meryl greeted cheerfully. “I’m sorry I’m a bit late. I had more paperwork than I thought.”

She hasn’t noticed my bag at my feet. She steps inside the apartment and shut the door. She stares at me and stops. It was now that she noticed that I was dressed for a journey. I wore my old body armor, the only thing different was my coat. Once, red now a milk chocolate. I had tossed the red one in the desert after I defeated my brother. I discarded it like I discarded my past. I will always remember but I could not allow it to guide me any longer. And yet, here I stand in front of the love of my long life about to go to take care of the biggest reminder of that long past.

“You’re leaving,” her voice already emotional.

“Yes,” I answered tightly.

“Why?” she asked.

I see the tears build in her eyes, threatening to fall and I nearly look away. I really hate to see her cry, my tough Short Insurance Girl.

“Knives, I have to go to him,” I tell her. “He is my responsibility. I shouldn’t have left him.”

Meryl’s crying now. She is now trying to hide it by ducking her head.  
“You feel guilty for leaving him behind,” she said and I realized she truly understands me.

“Yes,” I confirmed as steadily as I could.

We pause to stare at each other. Just taking in our last images of each other to get us through our separation.

“I love you, Meryl,” I confess hoping to lessen the blow and realizing it could only make things worse.

“I know,” she said. “I love you too and I understand. You have to be there for you brother.”

She pauses and gives a shaky sigh.

“Will I ever see you again?” she asked me.

“I don’t know,” I answered.

“Should I wait for you?”

It’s my turn to sigh. I want to be selfish and say yes, but I can’t. I may never come back. She deserves happiness, a husband, children. Everything I’m not sure I’m going to be there to be her husband and give her children.

“No,” I finally said.

She closed her eyes and takes a deep breath.

“Go,” she insists. “Leave.”

She moves from the door, clearing the way for my exit.

I slowly made the walk to the door. When I reached it, I turned to her and stroked her cheek. She moved away from my touch.

“Go,” she said again.

I drop my hand to the doorknob. Turning it and opening the door. I do what my beloved Meryl ordered me to do, I go and leave her alone.  
END OF CH. 7


	8. Lost Without Each Other

Chapter Eight: Lost Without Each Other  
My door shuts and I collapse to the floor my body is quaking and my vision is blurred by my tears. I am no longer strong. I was being brave in letting Vash go, but now I am weak. And beyond that, I am numb. Paralyzed.

Vash is gone. The love of my life is gone. Without him I feel empty and lost. There is no pain, just a numbness so consuming it makes it hard to breathe. I understand I should feel pain at my loss, but I don’t. I’m just nothing, it’s just nothing. My tears say I’m in pain but I can’t feel it.

I blink and my tears continue to fall. I do not wipe them away. I just sit. My arms too heavy to move anyway.

I’m hopeless. Without Vash I feel nothing. I want to hate him, but I can’t, I just can’t. How do you hate someone who’s so noble, he’d give up a home, happiness, a future, everything for his brother.

Knives, it’s all his fault. He managed to take Vash away from me again. First it was to his defeat and now to his care. Knives will always come first and I must accept that. Love cannot came between brothers. Especially twin brothers.

Now, I want to hate Knives, but it’s not his fault either. Vash is a loyal person. Probably had been all his life. I can’t fault Knives for what Vash is. I can’t hate the man who took my love away from me. I just can’t.

I gasp, breathing was still a chore for me, and I fall over, hitting the floor hard. I did not even flinch on impact. My tears continue to fall, dampening my rug. I lie there for over an hour. My body tiring and slumber calling me.

I want Vash to come back. I want to call out to him. But that is impossible. I must accept this. I must accept Vash is never coming back, not this time.

I made it two years without him. I can make a lifetime.

Slowly rising, I get up off the floor and drag myself to my bedroom. There I undress and redress into my nightshirt. I climb into my bed and cover myself with my blanket and for the first time in weeks, I fall asleep alone.  
________________________________________  
I got off the bus traveling west; I was, now, only a few miles away from Knives. It has been two weeks since I left December and I was only half a day’s journey to my brother. I had not realized how close to civilization the old ship had been. I knew I should have been worried. What if, after he was healed, Knives were to attack the city, but I was feeling nostalgic. My two week journey reminded me of my lonely days before Wolfwood, before my final battle with Knives, before the girls.

Solitude and it was surprisingly unwelcomed. I had gotten used to his Meryl’s presence. I have gotten used to Millie and her son, Matt. They were only people other than Knives that he cared for. They were only ones alive anyway. Well, the only ones that was terribly close to me.

During my journey, I, the infamous Vash the Stampede, discovered that the things I had always done by myself before, I enjoyed doing with someone else. Eating alone left my appetite unsatisfied, no matter how much I ate. Sleeping alone was unbearable. Without Meryl there was no point in sleeping at all. I would toss and turn, missing her small body against mind.

I sigh, my precious Meryl, the love of my very long life. How do I miss thee?

The darling woman was so very important to me. She was my complete opposite. From her hair color and height to her perfectionists attitude. My hair was blond while hers was black. I’m tall and she short. She was very young compared to me and yet she was way more mature than me, but she held an innocence to her that I had lost a long time ago. All was the opposite except for our optimistic view of the world. We both had hope for a brighter future.

That was what made us so perfect together. I sigh. And I asked her to not wait for me. I choked back my outrage and tears. I told the woman I love not to wait for me, to move on and find someone else. Man, was Wolfwood, Meryl, Knives, and several other people I had come across over the years right, I was an idiot.

Now, all I could do was wonder. Would she? Could she? Could she marry someone who wasn’t me? Could she have his children? Would she even be happy if years later I pass her by?

“Pathetic,” came a cold voice in my head.

I hadn’t even realized I had automatically walked into the fallen ship I had left my brother. I couldn’t believe, I didn’t even notice the change of lighting or temperature. It was burning hot outside and the sunlight was blinding. But in the ship the air was cool, almost cool enough to make me shiver from the cold and the lighting was dim to none. The power in the ship had long died down to only be backup power and most of that was focused on the pod Knives was in.

“What, Vash, no hello?” Knives continued telepathically. “Or are you still too preoccupied with your thoughts of your human pet?”

“She’s not my pet,” I answered in with my mind. “I love her!”

“As I said before, pathetic,” Knives said with disgust. “My brother in love with a human.”

“Shall I show you all that I shared with that human?” I threatened.

“For the love of God, no,” Knives felt sick at the thought.

“Then you will shut up when it comes to Meryl,” I demanded.

I smiled and released my brother from his pod. He was still unconscious. I placed him over my shoulder.

“What are you doing?” Knives questioned knowing that he was being moved.

“I’m going home, Knives,” I answered.

Talking to Knives and the thought of Meryl with another man made me decide to go back to her. I would have to take care of my brother and keep a ridiculous close eye on him when he’s healed, but I wasn’t going to postpone my life any longer. I was finally going to live it with the woman I loved.

“And you’re coming with me. You’re going to meet your future sister-in-law.” I finish with a chuckle as Knives gave a mental groan in protest.  
END OF CH. 8


	9. When You're Gone

Chapter Nine: When You’re Gone  
(Meryl’s POV)  
A week has passed since Vash had left me. A whole entire week and I can still feel the numbness that he left me with.

Millie is worried about me. She thinks I will do something awful to myself. I won’t. I would have to care enough for that.

I will go on. I must go on. But I don’t know how I could. I had come to love Vash so much. In a short time, I had come to love Vash the Stampede more than I have ever loved anyone before. And he told me not to wait.

How was supposed to move on with my life? Find a new love? Marry? Have children? I couldn’t do any of that. I would rather die old and alone than be with anyone else other than Vash.  
There, my mind was made up. I would go to work and come home from now on. I will visit Millie when necessary. That will have to fill my life.  
________________________________________  
Work was all I had left. Going to work was what I prided myself on. I have always been a hard worker. I was always precise when it came to my reports. I was always on time with my paperwork and with my being. And with Vash gone my work ethics did not change.

Sure, I was a bit quieter and a bit sterner, but I was Meryl Stryfe and Meryl Stryfe was nothing but a hard worker. But it was at work that the numbness faded from my body. It was at work that I felt the stab of loneliness.

One of my co-workers, Karen was talking about her handsome new lover and I could not help myself, I broke down and I cried for the loss of my own handsome lover.

I wept for Vash at my desk in front of everyone and they just stared at me like I had two heads.

Millie and Karen tried to comfort me but nothing they did or said could console me. In the end, my boss came to me and told me to take the rest of the day off.

I actually agreed to this and walked home with blurry eyes.  
________________________________________  
A month passes and my routine had returned. No longer was I bursting into tears over my lost love. I once again became the dedicated worker I had been before my emotional breakdown.

In fact, I was so dedicated to my work I rarely took the time to enjoy anything in life. I no longer gorged myself on ice cream Sundays. I rarely read any of the classic books that would entertain her for hours. No music to allow her mind to drift either. She even took to drinking less tea.

The only thing she did allow to bring her joy was Millie and Matt. Their company helped eased the loneliness the black haired insurance girl was feeling.

So, another task was added to Meryl’s routine. She would go to work, then to Millie’s for dinner and quality time with the Thompson’s. And for a while, it worked, but when the fourth week approached and still no Vash, Meryl just broke down.

At the end of a very busy and yet mundane week, the little insurance girl found herself, yet again, alone. She was not surprised when she closed her eyes for the night that she thought about the Humanoid Typhoon nor was she surprised when the tears began to fall. That was not new. What surprised Meryl most was something she had not thought of before, something that she should have considered the day Vash had left.

Meryl Matilda Stryfe was worried. For the first time in what felt like ages, Meryl had begun to worry about Vash the Stampede.

She had no clue if he was well or ill, where he was, or whether he was dead or alive, and once again, everything about Vash was a mystery. She felt as if she did not know him at all and this scared the woman. No, not scared terrified. Not knowing what was going on in Vash’s life terrified Meryl to the brink.

It was when she realized this that the dark-haired woman burst into hysterical tears. She was once more inconsolable and she cried until she no more tears to give and exhaustion took hold and she finally fell into a dreamless sleep.  
________________________________________  
It was a warm Saturday morning when I woke up early. I had awoken earlier than I had in a long time; the sun was just peeking over the horizon. I groaned and didn’t even bother opening my eyes. I just rolled over in my big comfy bed. And I began thinking about Vash.

How I missed him. I felt my throat swell as tears began to fall from my eyes. He was gone and he was never coming back. I was alone. I will always be alone. No one could ever replace Vash in my heart.

I decided at that moment that I would not even try or accept anyone else in my life. It was either Vash or nobody. Forget marriage, forget children, I didn’t need either of them. I was just going to find something new to make me happy.

It was just when I made this revelation that I heard a knock on my door. Groaning once more I turn over onto my back. The early morning sun had just begun to glare through my curtains. I tried to ignore the sound coming from my apartment door.

The knocking became more persistent and I sat up in anger. I threw my blankets to the floor. I leaped out of bed and stomped to the door, still in the male’s dress shirt pajamas. I harshly opened my door and was surprised to see the love of my life.

“Vash?” I questioned.

“Hello,” He said using his free hand to wave at me.

“What’s that?” I asked the person over his shoulder.

“It’s my brother,” Vash answered calmly.

I glared at him. This was the last thing I needed on an early Saturday morning.

“Vash, no,” I protested.

Vash entered my apartment and gently placed his brother down on my sofa.

“Vash, I said no,” I told him.

“I heard you,” he said standing and walking past me to close my still opened door. “But this is the only way we can be together.”

“What?” I asked.

“I left so I could take care of my brother, but with him here I won’t have to leave you,” he smiled down at me as he grabbed my shoulders. “Meryl, please. We need this. I can’t live without you. I don’t want you to be with someone else. I want us to be together.”

I stared up into his aqua green eyes. He was pleading with me to allow his brother to stay with us. I knew if I didn’t Vash and I would be miserable for the rest of our lives. My life would be short, while Vash’s could last for many more decades. I couldn’t do that to him, I couldn’t do that for us.

“Okay,” I said. “He can stay. We can do this. I can’t live my life without you either.”

Vash smiled brightly at me before he embraced me and kissed me passionately.

“I love you so much,” he said.

“I love you too,” I returned.

I looked around. My apartment was nearly too small for two people let alone three.

“I think we’re going to need a bigger place,” I announced with a frown.

Vash glanced around us.

“Well, he’s still unconscious,” he stated about his brother. “I don’t think Knives is going to need that much space to move around.”

“But we will,” I say. “We can find a bigger place in a smaller town that we can afford.”

“What about your job?”

“I know of a town that has a smaller branch of Bernardelli that we can live,” I answered simply. “That way I can work for the same pay in a more affordable town and you can take care of Knives without us having to worry too much about money.”

“I don’t know.”

“Vash, trust me. We’re going to need this and we’re going to need a place where when Knives wakes up, he can’t cause that much trouble. And we’re going to need somewhere that won’t draw attention to who you are.”

For a moment, Vash just stood there looking at me with uncertainty.

“Okay,” He finally agreed. “We can do this.”

I smile brightly at him and kiss him.

“I’m going to call Millie,” I said as I walked to my bedroom to use the phone. “She’s going to want to know this.”

When I told my best friend of our plans to move, Millie agreed. She believed a smaller community would be better for us. She also believed that we would need help and decided to move with us. It was like everything was falling into place.

Now I had the love of my life and my best friend. After a month of depression and numbness, I was happy again.

END OF CH. 9


	10. Runaway Run

Chapter Ten: Runaway Run  
Part One (Knives POV)  
I didn't take long for us to move from December to a small town called "Libra". It had a small population.

The move there was a simple one. The small woman didn't own much. They had chosen a medium sized house with three bedrooms. There was a room for myself, one for the other more cheerful woman and her little bastard of a son, and Vash shared the final room with the woman he would spoil our line with. There was a living room, two bathrooms, and a large kitchen. With Vash's appetite, I was not surprised to discover his woman had picked a house where the largest room would be the place where we ate.

It wasn't long after the move and everyone settled that I, once again, regained my consciousness. I had fallen unconscious in my pod soon after Vash had abandoned me in the old SEEDs ship. It was my choice; I had to focus all of my energy on healing and not my hatred towards my brother or humanity.

My body still ached from such a long time of immobility. My wounds healed long ago. I was stiff and motionless for weeks, but slowly regained the use of my limbs. There was nothing I could do but wait and examine those around me.

Vash, my insufferable twin brother was happy to see that I had awoken and despite all the years I spent chasing him, torturing him emotionally, and destroying the humans he had grown to care for, he took good care of me. He bathed me, made sure I had plenty of food, made sure I wasn't cold at night and made sure I had some entertainment, a book or a game of chess. I noticed that my brother's chess skills had improved over the years, but would never tell him so because that would lead to him acting like a fool.

He was a fool, taking care of me the way he does. He still has hope I could change. Become like him and appreciate humans. He does not see how they are the evils that would lead to destruction. He doesn't see that it is either them or use. He doesn't see that they could never accept use. They would experiment on us like they had done to our real mother. They would poke and prod at our bodies until there was nothing left until we died.

I do not understand how my brother can be so blind to the ways of his beloved humans. How could he even love one of them?

The small woman, Meryl, the one my brother claimed that he loved was a short-tempered wench. She did not show much patience to anyone. She was efficient in this way. Doing what needed to be done, not paying attention to any distractions. Not even Vash could break her from her task if she set her mind to it.

I had noticed that she was Vash's other responsibility. He did everything she asked him to. He did anything and everything to make her comfortable and to keep her happy. He was her damn pet dog, loyal and obedient.

Last, there was the cheerful woman and her toddler. The woman was just as insufferable as my brother. She ate just as much as Vash, she hummed just as much as Vash, and she talked just as much as Vash. But as friendly as the tall female was, she kept her distance from me. When she passed by my room she never looked inside, she never said hello. By the tightening of her body, I could tell she did not like me. I could tell that the woman was afraid of me.

Though she feared me, her little son did not. From Vash's ramblings every day, I learned that the boy had just begun to walk. He would often crawl to my opened door and hold to the frame, stand. He would toddle to my bedside and smile up at me. The child does not resemble his father as much as expected. Only his hair matched the man I had killed. I know, Wolfwood was the child's father. Vash had told me once before he realized who he was talking to.

Anyway, the child had taken a liking to come to my room and staring up at me. So, much so that, after much protest from his mother, they began to shut my door during the day and for some odd reason, I began to miss the child.  
________________________________________

A few weeks passed since I realized I was growing attached to a little human. I had even come to learn his name to be Matt. A biblical name. I human child should not have been gifted with such a holy name.

The child often cries every time he comes close my room. His little hands banging against the wood of my door. His mother scolds him daily for disturbing me. But I know the real reason why she wants the boy away from me. She strongly believes I would cause harm to her child. She may be right. I have yet to decide whether the child should die now while he's young or when he's older. The difference is he hasn't done any evil that his species is capable of yet.

I find myself thinking of the boy's innocence. For a short moment in my life, I used to be just as innocent. But it was stolen from me when I discovered humanity's evils.

I find myself wanting to protect the boy from his own species and the thought is unsettling. Vash has grown on me in the short time I have been with him and I cringe.

I need to get away. Being near my brother was a bad idea. Instead of convincing him to follow my ways, he's discretely been getting me to follow his. I can't allow him to win.

Humanity is evil. Humans have always been evil. They will destroy my kind and their selves in the process.

I have to leave this place, leave Vash and his influence. Leave that bastard child and his overprotective mother.

It was late. I can escape. I need to escape.

I leap out of my bed and didn't even bother to take anything with me. I quietly exit my room and then the house.  
________________________________________

I make it to the edge of time and was about to cross the border when I feel my brother's presence in my mind. I stop in my tracks.

"Vash, let me be," I order without turning to through telepathy.

"No way, Knives," he returns in the same way. "I can't let you leave. You're a danger to those around you."

"Then why should I not leave? I'll just kill your friends and then everyone else in this little town. Then I'll move on to another town and then another until I destroy the whole God-forsaken human race," I say with my back still facing my brother.

"You don't have to do that, Knives. They're good people Knives. Most of them want to just live their lives in peace."

"They would kill to get what they want. They will kill everyone that stands in their way. They will kill anyone who's different from them."

Vash stared at me and his face suddenly lit up with understanding. For the first time in years, Vash looked at me like he was actually seeing me.

"You're afraid of them. You're afraid they will come after you, destroy you," he says verbally. 

"You're not doing this for our species; you're doing this because humans frighten you."

I turn to him angry and grab him by his shirt and grit my teeth at him. Our faces were almost touching.

"Take it back," I spit at my brother and he just stands there.

I punch him. Vash stumbles back but other than that, he faced me with an angry expression. His back was stiff and his fists were clenched at his sides.

"I said take it back," I repeat mirroring his stance.

"No, Knives, because it's true," He glares at me and I punch him again. This time he tumbles to the ground. "You hate them because you're afraid of them. They won't destroy you. Many will accept you."

I growl and throw myself onto my brother; I began to punch his face repeatedly. He growls back and rolls me over, taking advantage of the situation, began to punch me. I tried to roll him back over, but he ceased my every attempt. It turns out that his life among the spiders had given him an upper hand when it came to fist to fist fighting. While I spent years perfecting my aim with a firearm, he spent his years perfecting every fighting skill he could. It wasn't long until I asked him to stop.

He rolled to the ground beside me. We were both out of breath from our rumble.

"Meryl's going to kill us when she sees us all dirty," Vash states between breaths.

"You're afraid of a little woman," I asked just as much out of breath.

I flinched. My face hurt from the bruises my twin had made.

"Hell yeah," he practically exclaims still out of breath from hitting me. "She's the one human you should be afraid of."

We lie there a bit longer as we catch our breaths. Neither of us saying a word as we waited.

Vash is the first to rise. He dusts off his clothes the best he could and rubs his hands briskly through his hair.

"Well, we should head back," he says nonchalantly like we never fought at all like we just decided to lie here on the ground. "Meryl will worry."

I stare up at him like he was crazy before lifting myself from the ground. I dust myself off, including my hair.

I watch Vash begin to walk home and I sadly follow him.  
END OF CH. 10


End file.
